The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week

huffington post funniest tweets of the week

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ‘ but succinct ‘ wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this weeks great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections. live w the abandon of a Movie Teen who says “dont fall in love w me” after 12 seconds of polite conversation Julia Bush (@jabush) December 20, 2016 Just wrote the sequel to Riding in Cars With Boys. It’s called Yelling In Cars with Lesbians Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) December 20, 2016 Donald Trump is such a Russian toy that I’m starting to wonder if inside of him is a series of progressively smaller white nationalists Kate Willett (@katewillett) December 16, 2016 my fav hobby is befriending random girls on the street based on a shared love of makeup or a shared hatred of Donald Trump farwz (@farwzz) December 21, 2016 *reads note left on her counter*”I’m breaking up with you. Your too nitpicky.””You’re,” she whispered. Erica (@SCbchbum) December 21, 2016 I just want to fall in love with a funny bearded man who later reveals he’s secretly rich and I get points because I didn’t know. Lauren Chanel Allen (@MichelleHux) December 20, 2016 I don’t think I realized how much this year has changed me until just now when someone offered me chocolate and I said no. shauna (@goldengateblond) December 19, 2016 me @ men Hannah Giorgis (@ethiopienne) December 18, 2016 Failed area woman fails to acknowledge her many failings. Rebecca Traister (@rtraister) December 20, 2016 Positive post-election things:Loving SNL again.Crying in public is fine.Not sleeping means more time for sighing.Marching = cardio. Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) December 18, 2016 Funds are low this year, so the Chex Mix I’m bringing to my office Christmas party is just birdseed and expired birth control pills. Arielle (@jewfacekilla) December 20, 2016 I sure to do watch a lot of Food Network for someone who just spent three minutes trying to push down the handle of an unplugged toaster. Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) December 20, 2016 Can’t decide what to get my dog for Christmas. Would she prefer a whole chicken skeleton, or her own feet’ Tough to say. Shalyah Evans (@ShalyahEvans) December 20, 2016 The amount I think putting an exclamation mark at the end of a text will fix everything is honestly adorably stupid Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 21, 2016 “Either something is happening to your face or you’re putting your makeup on wrong.” -My Mom Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) December 20, 2016 “Santa Baby” is actually my favorite Christmas song about wanting to fuck Santa Claus Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) December 21, 2016 They say no musicians will play Trump’s inauguration. Not true. I offered to play my rape whistle the entire time but no one’s called back. the war on bethmas (@bourgeoisalien) December 21, 2016 I wish I had half as much going on as the people in prescription-drug commercials. Naomi (@Blacktress) December 14, 2016 Life is a slow process of having your favorite names ruined by meeting the people who have them. Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) December 21, 2016 me to myself: let’s try to keep the conversation light & funme 5 minutes later: i have too much empathy & it makes me want to die a lot J. Jennifer Espinoza (@sadqueer4life) December 21, 2016 — This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.


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